In an effort to remain completely transparent, I admit I struggle with feeling adequate.
I want to make sure I'm a "good enough" mom, stepmom, wife, Christian, teacher, daughter, sister, aunt-you name it.
I have a hard time allowing myself grace and forgiveness when I mess up. I fret over a lot, a lot more than I should and I fret over things that are inconsequential. It's easy to say, "Give it to God." But the giving part isn't so easy. I feel like a burden, like there are so many people with such bigger problems that I shouldn't bother God with it and I'll just handle it-eventually (maybe).
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel I can handle it all better than God, I just feel I shouldn't "bother" Him with it.
This has nothing to do with how I was raised in my faith or what my current church practices, this is all on me-for whatever reason.
So, my first step to being "better" or stronger in all the above areas is to take a page from the Disney book and "Let It Go" (to God).
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
Favorite Ways To Relax and Refill #imperfectmoms
I'm a book junkie. So escaping into a book is one way I relax and refill my brain. Being a teacher I have made a commitment to myself to be a lifelong learner so I am always looking for the latest in teaching strategies and trends in order to keep my teaching brain sharp. I also like to read for fun, so seek out the suggestions of friends and coworkers on books to read.
I also enjoy a spa pedicure at the local hairdressing college every now and then. For $25 I can escape for an hour and have someone focus just on me. It doesn't seem like much, but sometimes, it's just enough to make a difference.
Never forget the small things. Sometimes a hot bubble bath with candles and relaxing music is enough of a break to allow relaxing, peaceful time to regroup.
Just last week I attended my first yoga class. It was at 5:30 in the evening and I left feeling like I was floating. I will definitely be going again and am so glad that it's available so close to home.
Ever since I was a baby, I've loved relaxing in a hammock. We currently don't own a hammock, but we do have a lovely deck and when the mosquitoes aren't horrible I love getting my lounge chair out and just vegging. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. If I can, I might doze off but sometimes just being calm, quiet and aware are enough to unwind and untangle my brain.
I'd love to hear how YOU relax and refill!
I also enjoy a spa pedicure at the local hairdressing college every now and then. For $25 I can escape for an hour and have someone focus just on me. It doesn't seem like much, but sometimes, it's just enough to make a difference.
Never forget the small things. Sometimes a hot bubble bath with candles and relaxing music is enough of a break to allow relaxing, peaceful time to regroup.
Just last week I attended my first yoga class. It was at 5:30 in the evening and I left feeling like I was floating. I will definitely be going again and am so glad that it's available so close to home.
Ever since I was a baby, I've loved relaxing in a hammock. We currently don't own a hammock, but we do have a lovely deck and when the mosquitoes aren't horrible I love getting my lounge chair out and just vegging. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. If I can, I might doze off but sometimes just being calm, quiet and aware are enough to unwind and untangle my brain.
I'd love to hear how YOU relax and refill!
More thoughts on being an #imperfectmom for all #imperfectmoms out there
What if my plans fail?
My best laid out plans always seem to fail. Fall down seven times, get up eight, right? It's not always easy, but now that I have kids I feel more compelled to do it.
I'm a teacher, with 12 years' experience, a Master's degree and two additional certifications. That's all great, but I live in rural western Kansas. In a town with one of few state universities, which graduates hundreds of new teachers twice a year. Finding a job in my area is virtually impossible. The last time I checked, there were 279 teaching jobs available in my state (yes, all of it) and there were over 3,000 applicants for them.
My husband has had his job with the USPS since 1997 and my stepdaughter lives 23 miles away and we barely get to see her the way it is, so moving for a teaching job isn't an option for us. I've done everything from subbing to a grant position that I knew would only be a year to driving 130 miles a day to opening my own preschool, just to be a teacher.
In the last month or so, I've accepted a new position, this one *only* 35 miles away. Except this one is a special education job. You'd think with all of my experience and education it'd be a no brainer, right? WRONG! It's new. It's scary. It'll be challenging (like all teaching jobs). But I trust the man who interviewed me who felt I was the best choice for the job and I trust God for leading my husband and I through prayer to close my preschool and take this new position.
Who's going to fill me back up?
I know the canned response to this is GOD, only The Lord. But let's be honest. Sometimes, we're weak, we need our husband to to be there. We need our kids to do a little pouring too. And if you're lucky enough to have girlfriends, they can be filler uppers (yes, it's a word) too.
Does anyone notice me?
I struggle with this one on the daily. Especially in regards to my role as a step mom. I've actually recently turned down an opportunity to be flown to Chicago, all expenses paid for three days to be on the Steve Harvey show to talk about my role as a stepmom. That'd surely get me noticed, but not in the way I'd want. It'd be a whole can of worms that isn't worth opening. Plus, it just happens to be taping the second week of school. I'm already going to be gone for two days in October to go to MOPS convention in Kentucky, so I don't think it's a good idea, in a lot of ways. But it's reassuring to know that people do notice, even if they aren't close to me.
Does God care about me?
I know He does. I wouldn't have the life I have if He didn't. It's because He does that I'm even here. In immeasurable ways. I'm unworthy of it all and I know this, and it keeps me humble and appreciative every day.
Is it wrong to treat myself?
I know it's not, but I always feel guilty. I always feel like that time away from my family is time I'll miss something amazing. I know I need to do it and that my husband and I need to make time as a couple, because in a blink of an eye, it'll be just us, but I still struggle with it. I don't want to miss anything.
I'm a work in progress! What can I say?
My best laid out plans always seem to fail. Fall down seven times, get up eight, right? It's not always easy, but now that I have kids I feel more compelled to do it.
I'm a teacher, with 12 years' experience, a Master's degree and two additional certifications. That's all great, but I live in rural western Kansas. In a town with one of few state universities, which graduates hundreds of new teachers twice a year. Finding a job in my area is virtually impossible. The last time I checked, there were 279 teaching jobs available in my state (yes, all of it) and there were over 3,000 applicants for them.
My husband has had his job with the USPS since 1997 and my stepdaughter lives 23 miles away and we barely get to see her the way it is, so moving for a teaching job isn't an option for us. I've done everything from subbing to a grant position that I knew would only be a year to driving 130 miles a day to opening my own preschool, just to be a teacher.
In the last month or so, I've accepted a new position, this one *only* 35 miles away. Except this one is a special education job. You'd think with all of my experience and education it'd be a no brainer, right? WRONG! It's new. It's scary. It'll be challenging (like all teaching jobs). But I trust the man who interviewed me who felt I was the best choice for the job and I trust God for leading my husband and I through prayer to close my preschool and take this new position.
Who's going to fill me back up?
I know the canned response to this is GOD, only The Lord. But let's be honest. Sometimes, we're weak, we need our husband to to be there. We need our kids to do a little pouring too. And if you're lucky enough to have girlfriends, they can be filler uppers (yes, it's a word) too.
Does anyone notice me?
I struggle with this one on the daily. Especially in regards to my role as a step mom. I've actually recently turned down an opportunity to be flown to Chicago, all expenses paid for three days to be on the Steve Harvey show to talk about my role as a stepmom. That'd surely get me noticed, but not in the way I'd want. It'd be a whole can of worms that isn't worth opening. Plus, it just happens to be taping the second week of school. I'm already going to be gone for two days in October to go to MOPS convention in Kentucky, so I don't think it's a good idea, in a lot of ways. But it's reassuring to know that people do notice, even if they aren't close to me.
Does God care about me?
I know He does. I wouldn't have the life I have if He didn't. It's because He does that I'm even here. In immeasurable ways. I'm unworthy of it all and I know this, and it keeps me humble and appreciative every day.
Is it wrong to treat myself?
I know it's not, but I always feel guilty. I always feel like that time away from my family is time I'll miss something amazing. I know I need to do it and that my husband and I need to make time as a couple, because in a blink of an eye, it'll be just us, but I still struggle with it. I don't want to miss anything.
I'm a work in progress! What can I say?
Am I Messing Up My Kids Questions
I'm doing an online bible study over a really cool,book right now and this week's questions were really insightful to me,so I thought I'd share.
What are some truths in your life that you can share with the rest of us?
Some truths I've learned in my two short years of being a biological mom and three years of being a step mom are: it'll never be perfect. There will be perfect moments. Perfect days and perfect glimpses, but we must do what we have with what we've been given and like my previous blog post said, it's not easy. No one said it would be. Facebook, Instagram and social media make it look like we've got it all together, but we must remember that people CHOOSE what they post there. How many times have you taken a perfect photo after the first shot? For me, rarely. I'll retake the same photo 27 times if it means I'll save that one and show my son and/or stepdaughter (or all of Instagram) later.
Another truth, a harsh one at that, is that being a step mom is the most thankless job...ever. And I'm a teacher, so yeah. That's saying a lot. But just like any other part of motherhood, it's what we do. I knew that my husband had kids when he proposed, so I just pray and stay faithful that it's all His plan.
Of the truths I shared from my life as a mom, which ones were meaningful to you or would you like to discuss further?
I'm already seeing how fast this all goes and I'm scared/worried/nervous I'm missing out on "little things" with my kids. I don't want to look back in 8 years and 16 years and be sorry for what we didn't do. What do y'all do for special family time?
Do something special for yourself mom, you deserve it! Just look at all you do! How will you treat yourself this week?
I'm actually getting a facial today! I commented on a post on a Facebook page and was chosen to get a facial at a new salon and day spa in my little twin. This will be the third one ever for me in my life!!
Thanks for the series! I'm looking forward to more posts!!
What are some truths in your life that you can share with the rest of us?
Some truths I've learned in my two short years of being a biological mom and three years of being a step mom are: it'll never be perfect. There will be perfect moments. Perfect days and perfect glimpses, but we must do what we have with what we've been given and like my previous blog post said, it's not easy. No one said it would be. Facebook, Instagram and social media make it look like we've got it all together, but we must remember that people CHOOSE what they post there. How many times have you taken a perfect photo after the first shot? For me, rarely. I'll retake the same photo 27 times if it means I'll save that one and show my son and/or stepdaughter (or all of Instagram) later.
Another truth, a harsh one at that, is that being a step mom is the most thankless job...ever. And I'm a teacher, so yeah. That's saying a lot. But just like any other part of motherhood, it's what we do. I knew that my husband had kids when he proposed, so I just pray and stay faithful that it's all His plan.
Of the truths I shared from my life as a mom, which ones were meaningful to you or would you like to discuss further?
I'm already seeing how fast this all goes and I'm scared/worried/nervous I'm missing out on "little things" with my kids. I don't want to look back in 8 years and 16 years and be sorry for what we didn't do. What do y'all do for special family time?
Do something special for yourself mom, you deserve it! Just look at all you do! How will you treat yourself this week?
I'm actually getting a facial today! I commented on a post on a Facebook page and was chosen to get a facial at a new salon and day spa in my little twin. This will be the third one ever for me in my life!!
Thanks for the series! I'm looking forward to more posts!!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Being A Mom Is Tough
Seems pretty simple, right?
No one said it'd be easy.
If anything being a mom is made to be one of the worst things ever.
But it's not. The tantrums aren't fun, but the hug and "sorry mommy" after are.
Potty training, and failing and trying again, and failing again, not fun whatsoever. But do,we give up? Nope. Never
Trust in Him. He gave us these beautiful little creatures to nurture and love, being a mom is tough, loving them is easy.
No one said it'd be easy.
If anything being a mom is made to be one of the worst things ever.
But it's not. The tantrums aren't fun, but the hug and "sorry mommy" after are.
Potty training, and failing and trying again, and failing again, not fun whatsoever. But do,we give up? Nope. Never
Trust in Him. He gave us these beautiful little creatures to nurture and love, being a mom is tough, loving them is easy.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Babies Don't Keep
Our son has been a good sleeper since he was a newborn. Truly, we are blessed. (Mommy is a fan of naps, too, so he gets his honest.)
Lately he has wanted to rock and snuggle before bedtime, and I won't lie, it has made my heart swell.
He is getting so big so fast and it truly is going like a blink of an eye. Everyone told me that it would, but I had no idea just how fast.
So instead of being annoyed or "put out" that he wants to snuggle and rock, for up to an hour sometimes, I am relishing it. I am soaking it in.
We sit in the glider that has been in his room since before he was born and I hold him just like I did when he was a newborn. This lasts approximately 27 seconds, but it is the sweetest 27 seconds of my day.
I hold him, caress him, pray over him, sing to him and just snuggle him. I've been told to always be the last one to let go of a child's hug and, I will hold to this for as long as he is giving me hugs.
He is so independent already, in just another few blinks, he won't want me to hold him or snuggle him at all. (Which, I hope isn't completely true.)
My heart absolutely melts when I am tickling his back and take a break and he reaches his little hand over and moves my hand to tickle him again. Or how he leans his head over for kisses every now and then, just to make sure I am still there.
I want to bottle this time up. I want to keep it forever.
I pray I am always this close to my little man. That he always wants to hold mommy's hand and will always reach out for me to be sure I am still there.
I tell him over and over that I will be and I hope he knows that I mean it as much as I possibly can.
This little man has made my world and he is the reason I wake up everyday. So, if I have to take a few extra minutes of laying on a hard wood floor at night to help him sleep better, it's a small price to pay for memories I will look back on when he is an adult and has a little Monster Man of his own.
So true. Babies don't keep. However, I can keep these precious moments in my heart forever. This little man has no idea how happy and complete he makes our lives.
Lately he has wanted to rock and snuggle before bedtime, and I won't lie, it has made my heart swell.
He is getting so big so fast and it truly is going like a blink of an eye. Everyone told me that it would, but I had no idea just how fast.
So instead of being annoyed or "put out" that he wants to snuggle and rock, for up to an hour sometimes, I am relishing it. I am soaking it in.
We sit in the glider that has been in his room since before he was born and I hold him just like I did when he was a newborn. This lasts approximately 27 seconds, but it is the sweetest 27 seconds of my day.
I hold him, caress him, pray over him, sing to him and just snuggle him. I've been told to always be the last one to let go of a child's hug and, I will hold to this for as long as he is giving me hugs.
He is so independent already, in just another few blinks, he won't want me to hold him or snuggle him at all. (Which, I hope isn't completely true.)
My heart absolutely melts when I am tickling his back and take a break and he reaches his little hand over and moves my hand to tickle him again. Or how he leans his head over for kisses every now and then, just to make sure I am still there.
I want to bottle this time up. I want to keep it forever.
I pray I am always this close to my little man. That he always wants to hold mommy's hand and will always reach out for me to be sure I am still there.
I tell him over and over that I will be and I hope he knows that I mean it as much as I possibly can.
This little man has made my world and he is the reason I wake up everyday. So, if I have to take a few extra minutes of laying on a hard wood floor at night to help him sleep better, it's a small price to pay for memories I will look back on when he is an adult and has a little Monster Man of his own.
"Babies Don’t Keep"
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
So true. Babies don't keep. However, I can keep these precious moments in my heart forever. This little man has no idea how happy and complete he makes our lives.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Influenster
Influenster.
I've been seeing a lot of cool,kings with #influenster so,thought I'd check it out.
<a href="http://www.influenster.com/profile/mrsnoller"><img src="http://widget.influenster.com/8c819943cf87a0f0aac178eb2148d389.png"></a>
I've been seeing a lot of cool,kings with #influenster so,thought I'd check it out.
<a href="http://www.influenster.com/profile/mrsnoller"><img src="http://widget.influenster.com/8c819943cf87a0f0aac178eb2148d389.png"></a>
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